uh oh. two TT misses in a row. a third and it’s a trend…
In my defense I HAVE been busy.
Just not with a camera.
Which seems to have gone missing.
Though I haven’t tried very hard to find it.
So I really can’t use that as an excuse.

As other arty-type endeavors show up on my table the need to play in Photoshop becomes less ..erm.. needy? Necessary? Whatever.
So here … some eye candy from my latest projects.

First up.
And I’m kinda embarrassed about this one cuz it means I have “flakiness” in my blood and I’ve always looked down my snobby nose at flaky artist-types. Ooops!
From my Dark Arts group, this book has languished in my hands for well, YEARS! urg.
The book in question? Ann Coulter’s Godless: The Church of Liberalism.
After reading some of the pages? Uhm. She’s nuts. Just sayin’.

Dark Arts Collab - Godless - cover

Back when I received the book, I obviously had an idea what I wanted to do as I cut vertically through a chunk of the book’s pages leaving a border intact all the way around. When I finally rediscovered the book in my cupboard, I could NOT recollect what I’d been thinking. Nothing more frustrating. Lemme tell you.

As an aside I’ve done this countless times. You’d think I would’ve learned to y’know jot down on a piece of paper what I had in mind when I amassed trinkets that I’d put aside in a basket …who am I kidding… basketS. Over and over I’ve done this. And because I’m all OCD’n shit, lest I reabsorb said trinkets into my rather expansive collection of Trinketry, I let’em lay. Often for years. In hopes that by some divine intervention I will recall what this elusive idea might be. So. Stacks of baskets with mystery bits’n'bobs piled up in my studio. Waiting for a brainwave. Know what? I have yet to remember ANY of those original ideas. Get over it Jen! Or. At least. Write the fucker down!

So. How to incorporate these slashes into something that makes sense?
I must have been channeling Miss Sweetpea’s box weaving because I ended up using those vertical strips as my warp (or is it weft? … wiki check … warp!) and weaving in some remnants from an Assemblage Challenge of long ago (thanks Miss CAT!) .

Check out the coolio glasses!

Not easily seen are some dyed cheesecloth pieces to the upper left of this photo in mustard and black. Couple that with some ancient cheesecloth I had kicking around. I wove. And then gel medium’d it all to within an inch of its life. Added ephemera. Made marks. Scribed the words: “What a tangled web we weave…”

Dark Arts Collab - Godless - first spread

The second spread …aka the overleaf of said weaving construction… I added some more Victorian children’s book pages cuz nothing says “Ann Coulter” like pretty girls playing with dolls, right?! More mark making. Added the words, “Oh Ann y u so hateful!” and called it a day.

Dark Arts Collab - Godless -second spread

Packed that byotch up and sent it back to Ruby. With my sincere apologies for giving in to my inner flake!

Next up … a love affair rekindled!

… when there’s no Texture Tuesday. No post!
Guess my art challenge also keeps me writing here too.
FYI … TT will return next week. Two textures for the price of one.

Sooo… lessee. What have I been up to?
All kinds of homebody stuff going on.
A local guy has been helping Tom and the barn is all but gutted.
Mark (our carpenter) found someone to do the basement.
Roofing guy had a heart attack so need to find his replacement.
Tom & local guy have also been a cutting-chipping machine.
Beware your trees folks!

Amanda & Cliff had their engagement photos done.
I do not get this.
I don’t.
But.
The photographer is pretty awesome.
I like her aesthetic.
A lot.
I think she’s gonna love taking the wedding photos here.
One of my faves from that shoot:

Cliff, Amanda & Figs

There’s actually been quite a bit of art going on too.
I decided to join in a bunch of swaps to keep me accountable.
The first is one I’m hosting, a Self-Portrait swap. Participants are sending an original 4×6″ self-portrait to me along with the answers to Inside the Actor’s Studio questionnaire.

I’m going to create booklets, one original 4×6 on the outside of each, copies of the remainder plus the answers inside. I’ve had fun locating the covering book board and signatures as the paper needs to be heftier than regular copy paper since I’m doing a coptic binding.

Next up is a Pocket Tin Shrine. I’m gonna need to be careful that this doesn’t bring on full onset metal lust.

And an ongoing ATC swap. YOU can send me an ATC too. And I’ll send one back. Or if you send two, I’ll send two back. Even three. If you wanna swap 383? You’re gonna be waiting awhile!

And finally, I got around to scanning the 20ThingZine pages. What? It only took 5 years!
They really are amazing though!

Diane Enchy Moore

Another week. Another Texture Tuesday.

It’s a blustery April showers bring May flowers kinda day.
Perfect for playing with some photos and textures.

The end result today was one of those switch layers up, add layers, push’n'pull that slider … for contrast, for Overlay, for Color Burn, for Soft Light… until my eyes were bleary and I couldn’t make any decision. Usually, thank goodness, I’ll make a change and my brain hollers, “YES! That. Right there.” The sun bleeds through the clouds. The angels sing. And it is Good.

Today? Not so much.
I finally got tired of switching things up and my brain mumbled, “Sure. Fine. Whatever.”
Until I hit Publish I won’t even really know what I came up with.

Some days are like that.

Oh. My!

I have to admit that I much prefer MORE in a Challenge than less.
To me, “more” means specific. Detailed. Finicky, even.
The smaller the parameters …using one stick and a 3×3-inch square of cloth create a tent large enough for 4 people… the happier I am.

All to say that this week’s TT theme “Free’n'Easy” …the only criteria being to use at least one of Kim’s textures… leaves me feeling a bit ..erm.. shall we say underwhelmed. I guess I took on these challenges to, well, challenge myself. Simply because, right now, I need the structure.

Okay. Enough whining!

The photo I chose to work with, ironically, is one that I simply love just. the. way. it. is.
And that does not happen often folks. Lemme tell ya!
My capturing skills are rudimentary at best.
My strength is …and has always been… my ability to manipulate.
Photoshop and I are BFFs!

Mackerel Sky

But this photo?
Something about the cloud formation.
The way the background was naturally blurred.
The large colour blocks of sky, trees, field.
Yep. Does it for me.

So why did I choose to change it you ask?
Because to me THAT is a challenge.
How can I make what I consider a pretty compositionally great photo even greater?
Exactly!

And it took a LOT of attempts.
In the end, I did very little.
One layer of Kim’s “andThenSome” …maybe my fave of her textures… applied with a very light hand.

So you be the judge.
Did I do enough?
Too much?
You hate the original photo?
What say you?

Texture Tuesday - Free'n'Easy Edition

Scene from The Birds

So. Yesterday after a long day on the road …bringing DD home for a few weeks between school semesters… I crashed on the couch flicking around “the dial” and saw that The Birds was on.

Yowza! I’ve only ever seen this Hitchcock classic once but it made a lasting impression. I wondered whether a)it would stand up over time and b)it would come close to my memory of it.

I figure I was probably 7 or 8 when I saw it.
Two parts stick very vividly in my memory:

1. the scene where they show a guy’s eyes pecked out
2. kids running down the road being attacked by birds

Amazingly my recollection was just about spot on!
Though the theatrics were a bit over the top, these two scenes still pack a respectable amount of horrific punch.

The lead up to Tippi’s visit to (what in my memory was Cape Cod) the California coast was lost.
As was the the ensuing love story.
And the twisted hold the mother had on her son.
Man! They packed a lot of story into a 2hour time space!

Was it just me that felt that Tippi’s headstrong character was being punished?
Or perhaps it was a healing moment between she and Jessica Tandy. Mother’s love requited.
Or something.

I don’t know.

All I do know is that even after all these years it is still a creepy little movie …go Alfred!… and I’ll still get a little anxious every fall as the starlings start to gather!

… to my post. I went for a walk and thought more about how my perception of who I think I’m presenting here and who I actually show and had some realizations.

Firstly, every day I take Stella for a least an hour walk in our woods. It clears my head and often provides me with answers to those questions/thoughts that lurk in the twilight between my conscious and subconscious worlds. Highly therapeutic!

Stella the Cow

Realizations. In no particular order:

1. I do not look back. This comes back to bite me in the ass. With no rear view mirror I sometimes forget my mistakes and have to re-learn them more than once.
2. I am generally an upbeat person. Even while I tend to be a pragmatist. No Pollyanna here! I prefer to focus on the good rather than bad.
3. And finally … it’s all about Choice. I choose to focus on moving forward than getting mired in what has passed. Maybe because I’ve experienced some pretty crappy stuff in my life, I don’t tend to obsess about it. Maybe if all one has ever known is sunshine and roses, when life throws you a mudball you can’t help but feel overwhelmed and incensed … how could this happen to ME?!? Shit happens. You deal with it. Or not. And move on.

So. I feel better about having bypassed some of the Big Things on this here web space.
That I chose to focus on my art and how I worked through whatever was going on in the background with paint and gel medium and rusty metal bits.
That it isn’t necessary for me to vocalize each and every shitty thing that has happened in my life and you can still get the gist of who I am.
That if something does rile me, I may blurt it out.
Or I might not.

And I’m okay with that.

This doesn’t just happen to be this week’s TT theme …though it is… but also a philosophy I have adopted over the last few years.

Celebrate the Little Things

So often we put our everyday lives on hold …clicking the pause button… in favour of waiting for the Big Things. And maybe you’ll be lucky and those Big Things will turn out exactly as imagined and you can rejoice forever after. Only in my experience, they never quite make it. They change or morph into something completely unimagined often with more devastating repercussions than victories.

Or maybe that’s just me.

Having been through that scenario more than once …pause. wait. devastation… I realized that so. much. time. had passed in the interim. Y’know, as the saying goes …”life”… and the Big Thing still hadn’t manifested itself.

But the sun still came up everyday.
The flowers still bloomed.
The gentle breeze still rustled the leaves.
Stella still made me laugh.
The lemon pie turned out beyond delicious (dang! why didn’t I take a photo?! before I devoured it. Oh. YUM!)

The Little Things

THEY do not disappoint.
All we …I… have to do is seek them out.

Texture Tuesday - The Little Things

Living out here …on the internets… is rather like being a Bubble Boy.
Everything’s open and out in the air and available to all.
At least that’s how I thought I was living.

Only.
It seems I haven’t.
And in the giant scheme of things? No big deal right?
We all hold something back.
Compartmentalize ourselves.
At work.
With family.
With new found acquaintances.

Only.
I didn’t think I did.
I thought I was a ‘bare all, no-holds-barred, open book’ kinda girl.
And yet. It seems I am not quite so transparent as I’ve made myself out to be.

And still. No big deal.
Except when my new found friend asked the question “…what does the “leaving out” might mean for you?” it really rankled. Indeed. What DOES it mean? And why is it grating …chafing… me so?

I guess it gets down to self-perception.
And sure call it self-deception cuz we all know that’s what it REALLY is.
See. I’ve always thought I had a pretty good grip on what was REAL and what was imagined.
I’ve worked. Dammit. Hard! To get to some sort of level playing field in my own psyche.
Not allowing the rose-coloured glasses to hijack what is “true”.
A self-proclaimed “calls’em like I sees’em” sort.

But here. Right HERE. In this world of my own making, I have been glossing over my life.
Hiding the dust bunnies, sweeping the clutter under the rug.
Projecting a less-than-truthful snapshot of who I am.
Oh. Geez. I’m a GLOSSER!?!

I am embarrassed at how often I have felt higher, mightier than the copious mommy-bloggers …those self-professed happy stay-at-home moms who home-school while crafting up a storm amidst white painted homes dining on organically grown veggies from their own backyards.
Scoffed even.
Because I …I… “let it all hang out man”.
I scream and curse and show the dark underbelly of Real Life.
I tell it like it is.
I am REAL woman. Hear me roar.

Only.
It seems I …haven’t. I’m …not.
I am but a pussycat in lion’s clothing.
heh. Not even.
Just the pussycat.

Oy.
So now what?

. . . . . . . .

Pretty picture anyone?

Raven - 5x5 mixed media

You may have seen this image before, a photo I took earlier this year on a local beach.
It was what we call around here a “soft day”.
Fitting for this week’s TT theme: Soft using Kim’s Organic texture.

Texture Tuesday - Soft Edition

Truth be told, I almost used the Stella photo from my last post.
To me it epitomizes the word “soft” with all that pre-impressionist ethereal billowy pink cloud.
But I hate re-using photos. And I didn’t use one of Kim’s textures so I would’ve had to re-do it.
I’m lazy like that!

What was particularly astounding, for me, was finding this quote by Drew Barrymore of all people.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy her work.
But she’s what I consider a light-weight.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I just can’t imagine her uttering these words.

I pray to be like the ocean with soft currents
maybe waves at times.
More and more, I want the consistency
rather than the highs and the lows.

But man. Do. They. Resonate.
A lesson I keep having to relearn it seems.
Bashing into that wall of Balance.

Over. And over.
Not unlike the waves.

I too strive for consistency.
Evening out the highs. The lows.
And when I think I’m gaining.
I’ve leveled the last mountain.
That seventh wave knocks me off my feet.
Teaching me humility.

I have come far.
But I have so much further to go. ]]> http://www.jenworden.com/2012/soft-currents/feed/ 16 http://www.jenworden.com/2012/light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel/ http://www.jenworden.com/2012/light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel/#comments Thu, 29 Mar 2012 15:27:20 +0000 just jen http://www.jenworden.com/?p=3337

Cathedral Light

It seems …maybe… the funk has faded.
Oh. It’s still cold and dreary outside. A dusting of snow this morning even.
And there will continue to be a special place in hell for hackers. (the swine!)
But.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Levity is returning.
And …AND… there is art!

I saw this on Etsy the other day:

Megan Chapman - The ghosts of this town

And it struck a chord. I immediately went upstairs grabbed some 5×7″ Mayfair and started playing.
I grabbed some ephemera …words from the poem “The Lady of the Lake” by Sir Walter Scott… fitting title and went at it. They are still definite works in progress. Not ready for a camera really. But they created a mini-tsunami of wips.

After doing TT this week, I felt I was going through the motions.
Open photo.
Grab texture.
Copy photo.
Layer. Layer. Layer.
Move slider up.
Move slider down.
Add another texture.
Stay?
Go?
Move up a layer.
Moved down a layer.
Slide. Slide.
Change size.
Save.
Gah! Something more. Please?

I realized that part of why I wanted to create more photos in the first place was to have imagery to work with for some new mixed media works.
Oh. Right. That.

So after the initial 5 pieces set in motion for The Lady of the Lake I returned to my room.
And that folks? is K.E.Y.
I haven’t done back-to-back days at the art table in ..well.. forEVER.
But back I went.
I printed.
And gel mediumed.
I soaked.
And scraped paper until my index finger had that well-worn feeling.
It was nostalgic.
Picking gel medium off my fingers.
And off my shirt. heh. Some things never change!

I got pissed off.
Annnnnddddd thought about a solution.
Another KEY moment.

I woke up thinking about how to recreate my lost photo paper.
I had to write down some experiments to try.
Dare I say it?
I could hear my Muse whispering.
Light. At the end of the tunnel. Indeed!

And. Wait!
There is more.

But not this day.

]]>